43, or, “Begin, Again”

Unhealthy, unhappy, alone, and collapsed

Operationally homeless, busted motorhome out back

Partner in a mental health facility

He went voluntarily

My brain is a fog

Overwhelmed with three dogs

Last pair of clean underwear

It’s past time to cut my hair

Don’t remember my last shower

Or sometimes the last hour

I’m empty inside

It’s why I always hide

Shame and guilt take

Everything I try to make

Letters for me


Then there’s the family


My executive function is gone

My blood sugar’s up

Today I put CBD in my coffee cup

I’m hoping I find the way to my mat

Some Headspace would help

Andy’s voice can calm me down, stat

After I’ve prepped the space

Playing sounds of a garden oase

I can dim the lights and settle upon

My blueberry blue zafu and zabuton

I’ll take a deep breath, or ten

And in the voice of a loving friend

I’ll tell myself kindly

“Begin, Again”